Does something smell in here?

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Still Stupefied

Its been 4 years since I came to America.
On this day, in the year 2005 my flight landed at San Francisco Airport... and there to receive me were Anu-Ali-Shriya, Raji-Raju and Ram.

They bought flowers too.

I remember being dazed and numb. Not because of the United States, but because of the flood that preceded my departure from Bombay.

This is a good time to pause and reflect on myself... don't you think?

Since 2002, life has been a roller coaster ride... Not necessarily a fun ride... for a good part I think I didn't have any safety braces on. There were instances when I am sure I had nothing to hold on to either. I suppose I've done okay ... all things considered.

Here are some of the things stewing up inside me ...

I believe ...
in Destiny


I realise ...
... that even the closest of friends need reassurance and reminders of your love for them
... that a lot of problems can be completely avoided if people could just shut up
... that if you feel miserable for no apparent reason, it usually just means you're hungry, or sleepy, or tired, or you don't like being with whoever you're with or wherever you are. So eat/ sleep/ rest/ excuse yourself and go!
... that it always helps to be able to distinguish between malice and stupidity

I've learned...
... that sometimes its easier to get by, if you don't ask too many questions
... that if you cut yourself up to fit in with everyone ... theres very little left of you at the end of the day
... that to be happy... you need to be passionate about something

I hope...
... that some day God's going to talk back and offer an explanation
... that some day all of this will make sense

I know...
... that I currently am in desperate need of chocolate and a hug.

List # 1

I'm marjorly into making lists.
Of course I forget all about them once I've made them and then they turn up a week later when I'm collecting rubbish for recycling and I go ... "aaah... thats what/who I was supposed to do/buy/eat/call/reply to/write to..."
On average I make two lists a day - and finish doing all the stuff I didn't write down on the list.

For example ... this is a list I find lying in front of me on the computer desk. I have obviously kept it here when I came to check my mail in the morning yesterday.
It reads:
1. Vacuum
2. Call Deepak
3. Return Amma's call
4. Ask Raji/ Anu-Ali about slow cooker
5. Cook dratted pumpkin which doesn't seem to get over
6. Start blog
7. Return library books

What I did do yesterday
1. 4 loads of laundry
2. Sewing
3. Called Airtel and waited for 20 mins listening to a pre-recorded message
4. Went shopping and found the skillet
5. Finished reading new Vikas Swarup book - Six suspects
6. Drove to Oak Park and back - didn't return books - accrued fines. :(
7. Cooked frozen suran - which wouldn't have gone bad anyway. Dratted pumpkin seems to be spawning more dratted pumpkin in the fridge.

So you see, what I really am, is a pathological list maker...  I really can't help myself... for making them, or forgetting about them.

But now that I have all you people (and yes I assume you're reading this) I'm going to make lists of things I want to accomplish this week ...

1. I found a cast iron skillet when I went to the store. It looked just like the skillet my great grand-mamma used to make dosas on. So I got it and I'm going to try making dosas on it - make it fully functional.
Its a process... I know... but I'm going to start.

2. Improvise on making a baked apple dessert - which is healthy-ish

3. Post part of my research on the benefits of spices

4. Make puran poli as part of Shalome's comfort food plan

Ok thats it. Anything more than this will be nothing short of divine intervention.

Wish me luck.

type type... erase...

This is really hard to do once you're out of the habit...

I don't know when I decided I had nothing to say... nothing to share... nothing that moved me enough that I wanted to talk about it, leave alone write about it.

I will admit though that I was decidedly happy cocooned within myself. Or at least I wasn't unhappy.

But then if you're reading this, odds are you're family to me - so I can be lame, irrational, wordy, obtuse, vague, and say things that are "funny-to-me" and it should be okay. Right?

Anyway, you should know the two main reasons that compelled me to resume writing...

1. Shalome
2. Twit

The both know why. Its really a long story... in both cases... so suffice to say that I've resumed writing mostly because of food... and the love these two have for food... and all the conversations we have when we digress from the topic of food, or over food, or when we're hungry, or too full.

In any case I do think that the greatest romance I have had in my life has been with food.

I have walked in the rain with a warm vada-pav in my hand, or a hot cup of coffee.
I've had a cup of hot chocolate snuggle up with me under a blanket, on a cold night.
I've cried into caramel corn during movies, feeling its reassuring stickiness on my fingers.
Khichdi and buttermilk have nursed me back to health.
Fruit backed me up every time I felt run down
And where would I be without yogurt??
Cake never missed a birthday
Pani puri always made me smile ... and golas!
Baked apple crisps sprinkled with cinnamon have never ever let me down

Also always... always... like the truest of friends God gives the most fortunate... there has always been .... chocolate.

It's true.

The greatest love in my life is food.

... Chai?

Stretch ....

yawn ....

*blink blink*

(cracking knuckles)
(rubbing hands together)

Okay... lets do this again.