Comfort Food

This happened when I was baking brownies and decided to invert the measuring cup (used to measure oil) over the baking tray.
What could I do ... I decided to stand there and grin right back.

???????

Now since I'm all growed up and married and all ... (although part of me feels like I missed the growing up, and the rest of me missed the marriage) ... I find people asking me strange questions. 

I understand people think these are perfectly normal questions to ask.

To the asker its probably polite conversation, catching up, that sort of thing… but to me, the askee... it usually puts me in a quandary… sometimes unpleasant.   

For example:

“So how do you like married life eh?”

My response: *blank stare

“So how is your husband keeping you?”

My response: “Say what?”

However, people started thinking that something was wrong with our marriage. So I tried my best to give them a decent response.

Here is a rough list of the range and evolution of my answers.

Key: “This is what I say.” (this is what I am thinking)

Question: So how do you like married life eh?

“Do you mean in… general?” (Please tell me you mean in general)

“Umm… I don’t know… How do YOU like Married life?” (Yeah! Give me a hint!)

“Umm… it’s okay, I suppose…” (noncommittal)

“Is that a trick question?” (HAH! I’m on to you!)

“Well, let’s say I won’t make THAT mistake twice!” (seething at husband)

“Who’s asking?” (This is good Anisha, you can take him/her, (s)he's smaller than you)

“Oh yeah, Susheel usually answers that – Love, will you get that!” (deflect to spouse… run!)


"To be or not to be that isn't that the REAL question." (Okay, I think it's working, go on...) "Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them, end them." (Super Shakespeare saves the day again!)

Question: How is your husband keeping you?

“Errr…” (Try repeating that to yourself backwards, it might make more sense.)

“He’s a good man.” (Don’t say anything more… don’t say anything more…)

“…Who?” (Still seething)

“He feeds me, so I stay.” (woof!... wag wag…)

“Oh yeah, it does rain a lot in Chicago, but you know, I’m from Bombay, so I like it.” (Good girl Anisha, now keep the steady face)

“How is that your business?” (I know you still stalk him bitchy ex-girlfriend) (Okay I made this one up, but this is what I will say if ever needed)

“Oh sooooo well, I am sooooo happy!” (hey, don’t back off like that…)

“You mean the Lord and Master of all he surveys?” (*&^%@#@*!!!)

“Hey I got a roof ova my ‘ead, laat a food to eat, an’ someun to hold at nyte, eh. It’s a good life.” (Do you think they caught on with the whole Italian Mafioso dialogue delivery? I’ve been working on it)(… what with the number of times I’ve been made to watch the Godfather.)

"How come no one asks Susheel these questions - Ask him how I am?" (Wait... is this really a good idea?)

“He puts me in a pumpkin shell and there he keeps me very well. (Given no one besides me seems to have learnt this nursery rhyme as a child, I usually get very strange, concerned looks)

They  are fair questions, but there really isn’t a fair answer.

It changes all the time. Sometimes it really takes an effort.

And growed up as we are, we still seem to be growing up more... with each other... 


Its not easy, but worth every effort. 

The only fair response is.

“I love him very much.” (….)

Just so you know...

I went to NY, NY

I loved NY, NY

I'm back now, but last week at this time, I was in NY, NY. 

Much do I have to speak about my experience there. 

But for now other matters are at hand... more pressing. 

For instance, I am currently undecided on what I should read. 

Options:

Stroud - The Golem's Eye

DuMaurier - The Scapegoat

Toole - A Confederacy of Dunces

Hurston - Their eyes were watching God

Also, just so you know, all activities on that list were achieved that week. Onam popped up too in the midst of it all and a feast was prepared. 

Us unemployed people are the busiest I tell you. 

Does something smell in here?

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Still Stupefied

Its been 4 years since I came to America.
On this day, in the year 2005 my flight landed at San Francisco Airport... and there to receive me were Anu-Ali-Shriya, Raji-Raju and Ram.

They bought flowers too.

I remember being dazed and numb. Not because of the United States, but because of the flood that preceded my departure from Bombay.

This is a good time to pause and reflect on myself... don't you think?

Since 2002, life has been a roller coaster ride... Not necessarily a fun ride... for a good part I think I didn't have any safety braces on. There were instances when I am sure I had nothing to hold on to either. I suppose I've done okay ... all things considered.

Here are some of the things stewing up inside me ...

I believe ...
in Destiny


I realise ...
... that even the closest of friends need reassurance and reminders of your love for them
... that a lot of problems can be completely avoided if people could just shut up
... that if you feel miserable for no apparent reason, it usually just means you're hungry, or sleepy, or tired, or you don't like being with whoever you're with or wherever you are. So eat/ sleep/ rest/ excuse yourself and go!
... that it always helps to be able to distinguish between malice and stupidity

I've learned...
... that sometimes its easier to get by, if you don't ask too many questions
... that if you cut yourself up to fit in with everyone ... theres very little left of you at the end of the day
... that to be happy... you need to be passionate about something

I hope...
... that some day God's going to talk back and offer an explanation
... that some day all of this will make sense

I know...
... that I currently am in desperate need of chocolate and a hug.

List # 1

I'm marjorly into making lists.
Of course I forget all about them once I've made them and then they turn up a week later when I'm collecting rubbish for recycling and I go ... "aaah... thats what/who I was supposed to do/buy/eat/call/reply to/write to..."
On average I make two lists a day - and finish doing all the stuff I didn't write down on the list.

For example ... this is a list I find lying in front of me on the computer desk. I have obviously kept it here when I came to check my mail in the morning yesterday.
It reads:
1. Vacuum
2. Call Deepak
3. Return Amma's call
4. Ask Raji/ Anu-Ali about slow cooker
5. Cook dratted pumpkin which doesn't seem to get over
6. Start blog
7. Return library books

What I did do yesterday
1. 4 loads of laundry
2. Sewing
3. Called Airtel and waited for 20 mins listening to a pre-recorded message
4. Went shopping and found the skillet
5. Finished reading new Vikas Swarup book - Six suspects
6. Drove to Oak Park and back - didn't return books - accrued fines. :(
7. Cooked frozen suran - which wouldn't have gone bad anyway. Dratted pumpkin seems to be spawning more dratted pumpkin in the fridge.

So you see, what I really am, is a pathological list maker...  I really can't help myself... for making them, or forgetting about them.

But now that I have all you people (and yes I assume you're reading this) I'm going to make lists of things I want to accomplish this week ...

1. I found a cast iron skillet when I went to the store. It looked just like the skillet my great grand-mamma used to make dosas on. So I got it and I'm going to try making dosas on it - make it fully functional.
Its a process... I know... but I'm going to start.

2. Improvise on making a baked apple dessert - which is healthy-ish

3. Post part of my research on the benefits of spices

4. Make puran poli as part of Shalome's comfort food plan

Ok thats it. Anything more than this will be nothing short of divine intervention.

Wish me luck.

type type... erase...

This is really hard to do once you're out of the habit...

I don't know when I decided I had nothing to say... nothing to share... nothing that moved me enough that I wanted to talk about it, leave alone write about it.

I will admit though that I was decidedly happy cocooned within myself. Or at least I wasn't unhappy.

But then if you're reading this, odds are you're family to me - so I can be lame, irrational, wordy, obtuse, vague, and say things that are "funny-to-me" and it should be okay. Right?

Anyway, you should know the two main reasons that compelled me to resume writing...

1. Shalome
2. Twit

The both know why. Its really a long story... in both cases... so suffice to say that I've resumed writing mostly because of food... and the love these two have for food... and all the conversations we have when we digress from the topic of food, or over food, or when we're hungry, or too full.

In any case I do think that the greatest romance I have had in my life has been with food.

I have walked in the rain with a warm vada-pav in my hand, or a hot cup of coffee.
I've had a cup of hot chocolate snuggle up with me under a blanket, on a cold night.
I've cried into caramel corn during movies, feeling its reassuring stickiness on my fingers.
Khichdi and buttermilk have nursed me back to health.
Fruit backed me up every time I felt run down
And where would I be without yogurt??
Cake never missed a birthday
Pani puri always made me smile ... and golas!
Baked apple crisps sprinkled with cinnamon have never ever let me down

Also always... always... like the truest of friends God gives the most fortunate... there has always been .... chocolate.

It's true.

The greatest love in my life is food.

... Chai?

Stretch ....

yawn ....

*blink blink*

(cracking knuckles)
(rubbing hands together)

Okay... lets do this again.