Comfort Food

This happened when I was baking brownies and decided to invert the measuring cup (used to measure oil) over the baking tray.
What could I do ... I decided to stand there and grin right back.

???????

Now since I'm all growed up and married and all ... (although part of me feels like I missed the growing up, and the rest of me missed the marriage) ... I find people asking me strange questions. 

I understand people think these are perfectly normal questions to ask.

To the asker its probably polite conversation, catching up, that sort of thing… but to me, the askee... it usually puts me in a quandary… sometimes unpleasant.   

For example:

“So how do you like married life eh?”

My response: *blank stare

“So how is your husband keeping you?”

My response: “Say what?”

However, people started thinking that something was wrong with our marriage. So I tried my best to give them a decent response.

Here is a rough list of the range and evolution of my answers.

Key: “This is what I say.” (this is what I am thinking)

Question: So how do you like married life eh?

“Do you mean in… general?” (Please tell me you mean in general)

“Umm… I don’t know… How do YOU like Married life?” (Yeah! Give me a hint!)

“Umm… it’s okay, I suppose…” (noncommittal)

“Is that a trick question?” (HAH! I’m on to you!)

“Well, let’s say I won’t make THAT mistake twice!” (seething at husband)

“Who’s asking?” (This is good Anisha, you can take him/her, (s)he's smaller than you)

“Oh yeah, Susheel usually answers that – Love, will you get that!” (deflect to spouse… run!)


"To be or not to be that isn't that the REAL question." (Okay, I think it's working, go on...) "Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the stings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them, end them." (Super Shakespeare saves the day again!)

Question: How is your husband keeping you?

“Errr…” (Try repeating that to yourself backwards, it might make more sense.)

“He’s a good man.” (Don’t say anything more… don’t say anything more…)

“…Who?” (Still seething)

“He feeds me, so I stay.” (woof!... wag wag…)

“Oh yeah, it does rain a lot in Chicago, but you know, I’m from Bombay, so I like it.” (Good girl Anisha, now keep the steady face)

“How is that your business?” (I know you still stalk him bitchy ex-girlfriend) (Okay I made this one up, but this is what I will say if ever needed)

“Oh sooooo well, I am sooooo happy!” (hey, don’t back off like that…)

“You mean the Lord and Master of all he surveys?” (*&^%@#@*!!!)

“Hey I got a roof ova my ‘ead, laat a food to eat, an’ someun to hold at nyte, eh. It’s a good life.” (Do you think they caught on with the whole Italian Mafioso dialogue delivery? I’ve been working on it)(… what with the number of times I’ve been made to watch the Godfather.)

"How come no one asks Susheel these questions - Ask him how I am?" (Wait... is this really a good idea?)

“He puts me in a pumpkin shell and there he keeps me very well. (Given no one besides me seems to have learnt this nursery rhyme as a child, I usually get very strange, concerned looks)

They  are fair questions, but there really isn’t a fair answer.

It changes all the time. Sometimes it really takes an effort.

And growed up as we are, we still seem to be growing up more... with each other... 


Its not easy, but worth every effort. 

The only fair response is.

“I love him very much.” (….)

Just so you know...

I went to NY, NY

I loved NY, NY

I'm back now, but last week at this time, I was in NY, NY. 

Much do I have to speak about my experience there. 

But for now other matters are at hand... more pressing. 

For instance, I am currently undecided on what I should read. 

Options:

Stroud - The Golem's Eye

DuMaurier - The Scapegoat

Toole - A Confederacy of Dunces

Hurston - Their eyes were watching God

Also, just so you know, all activities on that list were achieved that week. Onam popped up too in the midst of it all and a feast was prepared. 

Us unemployed people are the busiest I tell you. 

Does something smell in here?

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Still Stupefied

Its been 4 years since I came to America.
On this day, in the year 2005 my flight landed at San Francisco Airport... and there to receive me were Anu-Ali-Shriya, Raji-Raju and Ram.

They bought flowers too.

I remember being dazed and numb. Not because of the United States, but because of the flood that preceded my departure from Bombay.

This is a good time to pause and reflect on myself... don't you think?

Since 2002, life has been a roller coaster ride... Not necessarily a fun ride... for a good part I think I didn't have any safety braces on. There were instances when I am sure I had nothing to hold on to either. I suppose I've done okay ... all things considered.

Here are some of the things stewing up inside me ...

I believe ...
in Destiny


I realise ...
... that even the closest of friends need reassurance and reminders of your love for them
... that a lot of problems can be completely avoided if people could just shut up
... that if you feel miserable for no apparent reason, it usually just means you're hungry, or sleepy, or tired, or you don't like being with whoever you're with or wherever you are. So eat/ sleep/ rest/ excuse yourself and go!
... that it always helps to be able to distinguish between malice and stupidity

I've learned...
... that sometimes its easier to get by, if you don't ask too many questions
... that if you cut yourself up to fit in with everyone ... theres very little left of you at the end of the day
... that to be happy... you need to be passionate about something

I hope...
... that some day God's going to talk back and offer an explanation
... that some day all of this will make sense

I know...
... that I currently am in desperate need of chocolate and a hug.